the wonders of selective grammar usage

A very short (i.e. long, but not longwinded) synopsis of my trip:

( long, but not )

0802 hrs :: October 15, 2005

With a sigh that filled the empty room, I finished the final book of a trilogy laced with madness and sorrow.  The cover face down upon my chest, I slipped my hands in my sweatshirt pocket and stared up at the ceiling, thinking. They went through so much agony, heartache, longing... and the only thing they wanted was what I have beneath my feet. "What a fool you are," I said aloud to myself.

The stairs creaked ever so lightly as I carefully made my way to the basement. I sat at the edge of the bed, just watching him sleep. Blue daylight filtered in through the solitary window, softly highlighting his features. My fingers traced the lines of his jaw, his shoulder, his arm, his hand. His hand slipped into mine as I waited, wondering if he would wake.

When I decided that I wasn't going to wake him, I tried to pull my hand away, but his grip tightened. Upon my wrenching it from his grasp, he lay still, but once he became aware that his hand was empty, his arm shook and he let out an almost shocked mumble. It was then that I realized the significance of it all, and I laid there, arm's length from him, just watching and waiting.

I had a miffy day at work, I'm re-losing my voice, and I'm still up cleaning the house and getting ready to take a shower before I head back to the 'rents to burn a couple of CDs.

No matter.

Flight #2051, SEA to JFK, departure @ 1105 PST, arrival @ 1905 EST.

I know my voice isn't better simply not only because I can't sing along to my favorite songs, but I can't even mouth the words to them without my throat hurting.
I'm breaking out like crazy. It's as if I've got a five o'clock shadow of blemishes.
I can't drink water -- it just burns on the way down. I've also got a cat's tongue, or whatever that little saying was about one's mouth burning easily, so I'm really reluctant to drink anything hot.

Even though I can still have a good time if I'm voiceless, I didn't want to be like this. I was going to laugh on the streets on Manhattan, cut loose while singing in a soundproof room, take pictures with me actually in them liking the way I looked. I wanted to be able to tell him that I love him and have him hear it as well as know it. Damnit. I wanted everything to be perfect.

This wasn't how it was supposed to be.

fingers following, tracing lines
a multitude of imperfections reflected in the mirror
in my eyes, in my heart
a spiraling cycle of nagging self-doubt
grading on my curves
finding everything unsatisfactory

I don't think I want to go into work tomorrow.  Scratch that -- I know I don't want to go into work tomorrow, but I don't know if I'm going to be well enough to make said trip.  Even though the shift is three hours shorter than my standard 3-12, that's still five-and-a-half hours on my feet. 

When I came to the realization that I spent an eighth of my day trying to get the knots out of a tangled ball of yarn, I waited for God to come down from his throne of righteousness and smite me for sloth.  Sloth or just pathetic loser-ness.  I can't decide which.  I should've bought Indigo Prophecy -- at least I would have been entertained while being lame.

Since the Cellular Phone Debacle of 2005 had its way with me financially and emotionally, Nick time has been restricted to a couple of hours past 6 pm PST (not including the occasional twenty minutes after his daily classes).  He told me about what we're going to do on Friday... all of these places that I'd always dreamed about going to, I'll actually be at come one week from now.  I know it must seem so anticlimactic for you hardened New Yorkers, but I've never done anything quite like this.  I mean, yes, I did go to downtown LA not knowing what I was getting into, but I'd been to Southern California before.  NYC, from what I understand, is so much city crammed into not so much mileage.  Everything here in Washington is sprawling... I mean, I live in Olympia, but I don't really live in Olympia, if you know what I mean.  If I felt weird not being able to see the stars in Maryland, I can only imagine what it'll feel like in a city that most literally never sleeps.

The best thing is, well, the fact that Digital Life is more like an obligation than anything else... and yet it's technically the reason why I'm heading there.  Heh.  Life is full of technicalities, hm? Here's to hoping that Vin and Bill'll want to hit the karaoke box with us on Friday night (please? pretty please?).

Well, time to head to work and pick up some soup and medicine, and maybe... maybe hint to Sir Matt* about driving me to the airport, since I'm not sure I'll be there tomorrow and I'd like to figure this out as soon as humanly possible.

* - I decided that, since there're too many Matts that read this (meaning more than one), I'm going to classify them.  We have Matt (xtcdukes takes precedence over you all, sorry), Sir Matt (work Matt), FortNinety Matt, and Caesar Matt (because whenever Nick mentions any Matt, it's followed by me asking "Caesar?").  This does not include Nick's brother, his childhood friend, or any other Matts that I may have known at one point or another.

No, that's not a typo... I'm just getting sick.

I'll be okay, though.  I'm trying that Airborne dietary supplement.  I don't know -- kinda seems gimmicky/placebo-ish, but it's worth a shot.  It may be my day off and all, but I'd rather not spend both of 'em sick.

Again with the quiet.  Again with the silence.  The seconds slowly tick by as I wait impatiently for six o'clock to roll around.

Exactly one week from now, the last great adventure of the year will be beginning.  I can't wait.

Okay... so I was sitting at home, writing Nick my daily email of emails, and then it hit me -- this thing has a modem on it. Mind you, it's a 56K modem, but you know what they say about beggars being choosy and all. I found the NoCharge.com information on my external, and all of a sudden the computer was making the once-familiar whoops and trills that once was a staple of my existence.

The post says that it's 4:59 in the morning, but that's because I never bothered to set it back to Pacific Standard. I figured that since the laptop came from the East Coast, it's center should stay there, too.

I started knitting again last night, thanks to a surprise care package from Nick's mom. Inside it were about eight skeins of imported yarn (in plum and charcoal), three pairs of bamboo needles (so I can take them on the plane without incident), and a zebra purse to complement Lor's tiger purse from me and Nick. Nick says that his purse will eat his mom's purse, which cracks me up to no end.

As I was casting on, I thought I had forgotten how to knit, so I had my handy-dandy guidebook alongside just in case... but sure enough, I had found my rhythm and was knitting and purling to my heart's content. It took a while to get used to the new needles, but I'm quickly growing fond of them. I asked my mom if she would make a needle caddy for me and she agreed, so I bought the outer fabric (a fine-wale corduroy in black) and drudged up some fabric I got a while back for the lining (a orange and gold pattern -- it'll look spectacular together).

I think I'm going back to the mall tomorrow. I mean, I need to do some returns and all, but really, it's just for the boba smoothies. I noticed a kiwi-pineapple combination... mmm! One thing I'd really like to do with Nick in NYC is find a real-deal boba tea place (you know, the one that does the nifty sealing thing atop the cup), because I have the feeling that he'd like it. The thing that he said he wasn't keen on was the boba (large tapioca pearls), but I never get that in mine. It's all about the lychee for me.

It's been about fifteen minutes and I've got four megs of the updates downloaded. Man, this'll take some time. I'm so not used to dial-up anymore.

... slowly, I'm starting to realize that when Lorelei's not around and I've got all this "me time", the time is basically spent with me in a quiet house, just sitting around. No TV on, no music most of the time... nothing. It's really weird to realize that much of your social life comes from work and the internet. <_<

So... yes.
Lots of stuff have been going on in the last couple of days. I could put it in a bulleted list, but we're not doing that right now. I'll stick with the old-fashioned Luana-ramble that you're all used to by now (or, at least, I hope you're used to it).

Osu! Tatakae! Ouendan came in on Monday, and boooooy, is it awesome or what? It's very reminiscent of Gitaroo Man, in both the humor and the gameplay. Oh, and the fact that the final level is kicking my ass hardcore. HARDCORE. The music is absolutely fantastic; it's apparently composed of popular Japanese rock/pop tunes over the years, and since I've had them stuck in my head all day long, I downloaded Bittorrent and now and in the process of waiting... waiting... waiting for them. Between the various Naruto intro/ending themes and Ouendan, my interest in Japanese popular music is really starting to grow.

Work-wise... it's been slow at the store, but I really think that's to make up for all the drama at Deeko. Good lord, THE DRAMA. I won't go into it any more here, for I don't think that it would be either appropriate professionally or personally (even though this is my blog), but man. It's crazy. Things are looking damn good in the GotNext corner, though -- not only do I have my latest contribution to GotGame up, but also my concise review of Nintendogs that, while I'm rather unsettled by, has some good traits that I'm proud of. In a recent e-mail, Chris informed me that I'm ready to make the jump from freelancer to regular reviewer, which means supplied games! :0 So excited. Of course, my next review? Ouendan.

Talked to Pat last night for some time. It has been decided that our parents are to be exchanged -- not for each other's, mind you, but just in general. While we love our parents, there're some things that are... shall we say lacking. Can't say more without compromising our... whatever's to be compromised, but yeah. 'Twas a relaxing conversation, to say the least.

I decided last night that it'd be a good idea to grab my flight information for the tandem NYC trip that Georgia and I were taking, so I checked my email and OMG NOOOOOOOO. We weren't coming in on Friday morning after all, but on Saturday. NOOOOOOOO
This just couldn't be (for I have to cover Digital Life on Friday for GotNext), so I panicked a bit before checking prices and then left Nick a hasty email of woe. Instead of us just settling for two days and one night, he went ahead and got me a ticket for a Thursday morning departure... so it's now three days and three nights. I mean, I can have dinner with him and his mom!

I'm starting to get very very excited now. I guess, when you get down to it, I really am a small-town girl in comparison to living somewhere as... metropolitan as New York City. Not only that, but the airline I'm flying on, Delta Song, is pretty damn fancypants for the price (Nick) paid. There's a screen on every seat -- every seat! -- so you can watch fairly new releases, and you can preorder meals. Actual meals. They're not cheap, mind you, but just look at the screenshot, dude. It actually looks comfy cozy and all. Now it's just telling my parents that they need to drop me off early early and that I'm staying with Nick and his mom. :0

Crazy.

Georgia said today that I was only to pay her back half the money owed since I only was using one of the tickets. Let it be known that this is my public statement of refusal. I refuse to comply with this, lady. I swear, if it means me getting you awesome birthday gifts for the next three years or so, then so be it. I will pay you back somehow. MARK MY WORDS.

Anyway, I went ahead and did some meme thing, and since I totally forgot the bio for swoontastic at home, I guess I can just go and scrounge up some food before crashing. Life's hectic, but in a happy way. I'm glad to be livin' it.

( memeriffic interests quiz )